Finish Line

Here we are, on the 31st of May and this is my 31st post of the month. By my unofficial blogathon-record-keeping that makes me an official runner and not a water-girl. Imagine that.

It's been quite a month in some respects and quite ordinary in others. Spring finally came and has started sliding slowly into summer. Work is busier as it is this time every year. Dave is busier too, as the summer travelers descend upon us. The garden has taken a lot of time...but it's good to be outside and occupied and to go to bed most nights genuinely and honestly tired.

I've spent more time really talking to people this month and am grateful beyond measure for the good, true friends in my life. Even though most of you are far away, you remain as close as my keyboard and my cellphone and I am lucky to have you in my life. And, I've spent more time - some every day! - writing, which is probably the best gift I could have given to myself. Special thanks to are due to my friend Sue for the nudge that finally worked and to dearest, darling Lisa (Happy Birthday, honey!) for being my Tag-along Blogathon Buddy.

I intend to keep this up. Maybe not every day, but most days...just because I like being here and I like knowing that you're all out there. I'm learning new things every day - about the world and about you and about myself. And those are all good things, yes?

To close out the month, here are some pictures of how the garden looks today:

Garden from the front

Garden from the side (note how the cucumber has escaped!)

Garden - Right Side (I really love that frog.)

Garden from the middle


Garden - Left Side

And also, a picture of Mojo, who loves being outside almost as much as I do. He's a good dog.

Noise In My Head

Some days, there is a lot of noise in my head. It's there when I wake up - a low buzzing chatter of 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' and 'whys.' The noise can be deafening and also crippling. I've found there are only two ways to deal with it: constant motion or surrender. To surrender to the noise is to spend the whole day in my pajamas, curled up and alternately crying and sleeping. I do this occasionally and think it helps keep me sane. Today was not about surrender, but motion, and I am tired.

I slept for twelve hours last night and woke with that buzzing in my head. I made coffee and went out to inspect the garden. Not nearly enough work to do there these days...the garden has reached the 'watch and wait' stage. So, instead, I starting moving. I grabbed my mom and we headed downtown. The original plan was bagels and the library. I missed the turn to the bagel place about the same I remembered the new Farmers' Market in The Big Park downtown. So we revised our plan (okay, I revised and Mom - who's very good at going along for the ride - said okay) and headed there instead. The market was small but had a great assortment of vegetables and plants, mostly organic, and the marvelous egg-farmers I met at the GreenFest a few weeks ago were there. I bought a few tomatoes, a bibb lettuce plant to add to the garden and some patty-pan squash which I've heard of but never seen before and they are fun-looking, like flying saucers:



Then we hit the coffee shop at the edge of the park. The Sentient Bean may be the best-named coffee shop ever, particularly since it is also a totally organic vegetarian cafe. Also it's local and they display art from the local art school and have a diverse clientele and it's just all around a better experience than going to Starbucks. Mind, I love Starbucks, but Starbucks is the Disneyland of coffeehouses - too smooth around the edges and I wish I lived closer to the Sentient Bean because I would hang out there on the funky purple sofas and watch people and write more.

After coffee, we scooted back up the street to the library. I found several books about kitchen gardens (always good to read up AFTER you've begun a project, yes?), a good bird-guide for Dave, Christopher Moore's Fool and a couple of Haven Kimmel novels. (I've never read any Kimmel but I am inclined toward liking her work). Mom found some books she liked too, and you cannot ask for much more out of a library trip than that.

I took mom home after the library but I didn't stop moving for long. Home to stash the vegetables and books and then back out to the salon where I got a new, much shorter do. I like it...no pictures yet, though. Then an early supper with Dave, a short exploration of the fancy-pants nursery on the corner across from the restaurant, back to mom's to show off the hair and then home.

My sister, Stephi, came by - which is always nice - and then a little later Anna and Jack and the Parental Units brought their dog to visit Mojo. And on and on and on...until I finally sat down to write this. I'm finally tired enough to sleep, I think. I hope it will be quieter tomorrow.

Family Portraits

Tonight, it's pictures again.

Christmas, 1989

Noon Day Baptist Church, Swainsboro, GA
Harbuck Family Reunion, 1990

Britt's High School Graduation - Effingham County High School - May 21, 2004

The Antidote to Feh

In the last couple of days I've been doing a lot of thinking about what it means to be the mother of a gay child. Musing a lot about the obligations and responsibilities inherent therein, above and beyond the already overwhelming ones that come with with motherhood in general. And the magnification of those obligations and responsibilities now that my girl is gone and cannot speak for herself. It's a lot to get a handle on and when I posted on Tuesday about my disappointment in the California Supreme Court's decision in the Prop 8 case I was feeling more than a little discouraged.

The two days since have been a little bit of a marvelous discovery, though, and also uplifting. First, there's been the response of my nearest and dearest friends. All predictably - but not inconsequentially - supportive of equal rights for the GLBT community. I am fortunate to be surrounded with their love. Second, there has been the willingness of people to discuss the issue and voice their support in some very public spaces: here and at Facebook and at work. And there has also been a lot of wonderful writing on the subject and I rejoice, once again, to be living in the Information Age, where words can travel around the world in an instant and access to them is unfettered by time or location.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution emailed me a news update that was actually NEWS (rather than celebrity gossip or sports statistics) for once: Two of the three major candidates for Mayor in Atlanta unequivocally support the right of gays to marry. The third openly supports 'civil unions' (I'm pretty sure we've tried 'separate-but-equal' before and it didn't work...) but his past comments and actions suggest he personally supports gay marriage but hasn't quite worked out being comfortable saying so on the campaign trail. That's pretty huge for Georgia and I am very pleased. Salon and the SF Chronicle have, of course, had some excellent columns. But the best thing I've read yet is this blog post by author Haven Kimmel.

I encourage you all to read it, especially and particularly those of you I haven't heard from or talked with. Because this isn't about religion, or what you think about homosexuality. It not about what you fear or don't understand. It's about civil rights. Plain and simple. Yours and mine and Britt's.

Think about it.

New Things

This has been a month for trying new things. In addition to the vegetable garden (which is revisiting an old but good thing), I am growing herbs. I am excited about roasting chickens seasoned with my own rosemary and thyme. I am looking forward to bolognese made with the oregano I am growing (and that smells just like Nana, really). Also, I made pesto.

I grew the basil and then I harvested the basil and then I turned it into pesto. All by myself. With email help from Lisa, of course, but she's in the Bronx..not here...and I think that qualifies as mostly by myself. I was smart enough to email her before I started, and I thought of that myself. Or, as Britt used to say, bymyownself.

This is the bowl of basil leaves, after the harvest:
And this is the finished product...yum!


This is the basil plant (sharing its pot with the parsley), after the harvest. Also, after I moved it out of reach of the encroaching cucumber plant.

Feh.

Today I find my disgusted with the entire state of California. Exemptions are granted, of course, to the handful of people I know and love there. Also to the turtles at a particular pond in GG park, because I love them, too, even if they are not quite evolved enough to love me back. All the rest of it is on My List.

The reason, of course, is the decision the California State Supreme Court announced today in which they declined to overturn Proposition 8. They also declined to invalidate the 18K marriages that took place among Gay & Lesbian couples during the short period of time during which equal protection under was actually recognized in California (for which I applaud them, even as I consign them to My List), and thereby paved the way for another referendum/ballot intiative/vote on whether or not California - like so many other state in this country - will continue to deny the rights guaranteed by the 14th Amendment to a portion of its citizens.

Britt did not live long enough to see her country rise above this bigotry. She died knowing that there were people in her own family who thought she was good enough to be in their weddings...but not good enough to deserve one of her own. In her memory, and because I know it's the Right Thing to do, I'll continue to support equality for all Americans. I hope I live long enough to see it.

Memorial Day

I never know what to do with myself on these sorts of holidays. Though I love everything about cookouts, my family are not really 'backyard cookout' sorts. We don't have a Memorial Day parade here in Savannah (why is that? are we not sufficiently recovered from St. Paddy's Day?) and I don't live in an actual neighborhood, so there weren't any block parties to wander to or neighbors' porches to hang out on. An extra day off work (a holiday my company actually recognizes!) and nothing special to do with it.

So, I puttered around the yard some, cleaning up the debris from the rain. I puttered in the garden some, finding new things for the cukes to climb on and moving the pot that holds the basil and the parsley out of reach of the cukes. I inspected the rose bush and cut a few dying fronds off the small palm out front. And, I harvested basil and made pesto from my own garden. (That's a special excitement that involved a lot of Googling and a few emails to Lisa.)

I hung out with Dave a lot and- of course - stayed up too late. Tomorrow, it's back to work.