This is my sixth winter living in A World Without and, this year, I am trying (yet) another approach. This is the Year of Full-On Celebration. The tree has been up for weeks. Not only are there lights strung on the front porch, there's a fully-lit tree there, too. Sparkly, multi-colored lights twinkling from dusk til dawn.
Inside, there's a festive string, à la Donna Reed, bedecked with cards from near and far. I sent cards this year, and - so far - I'm running about a 55% return rate. (Which isn't bad when you take into account my 5-year hiatus.) I count all the cards received up to New Years Day, so it's looking pretty good, even if certain people have de-listed me. (You know who you are.)
I even shopped. Not excessively, not with abandon, but with a certain measure of the joy and trepidation of past years. Will he like it? Oh, she'll love this! And I chose a wrapping theme (silver foil papers with green and blue and white ribbons and bows) that Himself promptly corrupted with a gold foil box tied 'round with a deep red ribbon. (Mens!) I am fairly certain there's yummy chocolate from our newly opened neighborhood chocolatier in that box, so I am going to overlook it. (I am also going to move it before the official Picture of the Tree - 2010 is taken. But then I'm going to put it back.)
There's a lot to celebrate this year. My Girl's Nana (also known as my dearest MIL) has come to live with us. While the reasons for it are not particularly celebratory, it's a joy and comfort to have her under our roof. There have been babies and rumors of babies. A wedding. Many plans for the future. There's been new sadness as well, fresh grief to lay over the the too-fresh grief that already blankets our world. In short, life keeps happening.
Which brings us here, to the Winter Solstice. The moon hung full and bright in the not-quite-dark sky as I drove home from work Monday evening. And as I twisted and turned along the marsh's edge I could hear Britt's voice, clear as a bell. 'We're going to build a fire, Maija, and dance around it while the moon rises! Winter's death knell...just as it begins, it begins to end. That's an excellent reason for a party, I think!'
So do I, Baby Girl. So do I.
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9 comments:
I was tickled to get your card this year, Debi. Celebrate away! Even while keeping the sadness. xoxo
Excellent indeed!
Debi, You are doing just great. Acceptance is a gift, which you have received - and are using well.
moving
...so eloquently and honestly expressed.
I don't know any other time of year that's so papered over with associations and emotions, good and bad. I don't even think it's possible to get to the bottom of them -- you just ride with it. Anyway, I'm always happy to get a card from you.
Tinsel, tinsel, liquor, lights. Lovely post, even if I was sorry to see the skinks bumped off the front page.
"Tinsel, tinsel, liquor, lights" may be the best seasonal mantra ever. May I use that?
Connie, I think you overestimate me (most of the time!:). In truth, I've yet to get anywhere close to 'acceptance'...I'm not even sure what it would look like. What I have found are moments of clarity and moments of peace. Every once in a while, they collide and result in a Very Good Thing.
Thank you, all, for stopping by here. It's a sweet to know you are out there.
If you figure out how to reject it, let me know.
Debi, I am just getting around to blogs, and was delighted to read this one. This is the first year I have not sent cards. Perhaps I will be back next year. We did the celebration. With three kids and spice, and four grandchildren, celebration was a necessity. Love to you and yours, Sheila
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