Saturday, May 30, 2009

Noise In My Head

Some days, there is a lot of noise in my head. It's there when I wake up - a low buzzing chatter of 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' and 'whys.' The noise can be deafening and also crippling. I've found there are only two ways to deal with it: constant motion or surrender. To surrender to the noise is to spend the whole day in my pajamas, curled up and alternately crying and sleeping. I do this occasionally and think it helps keep me sane. Today was not about surrender, but motion, and I am tired.

I slept for twelve hours last night and woke with that buzzing in my head. I made coffee and went out to inspect the garden. Not nearly enough work to do there these days...the garden has reached the 'watch and wait' stage. So, instead, I starting moving. I grabbed my mom and we headed downtown. The original plan was bagels and the library. I missed the turn to the bagel place about the same I remembered the new Farmers' Market in The Big Park downtown. So we revised our plan (okay, I revised and Mom - who's very good at going along for the ride - said okay) and headed there instead. The market was small but had a great assortment of vegetables and plants, mostly organic, and the marvelous egg-farmers I met at the GreenFest a few weeks ago were there. I bought a few tomatoes, a bibb lettuce plant to add to the garden and some patty-pan squash which I've heard of but never seen before and they are fun-looking, like flying saucers:

Then we hit the coffee shop at the edge of the park. The Sentient Bean may be the best-named coffee shop ever, particularly since it is also a totally organic vegetarian cafe. Also it's local and they display art from the local art school and have a diverse clientele and it's just all around a better experience than going to Starbucks. Mind, I love Starbucks, but Starbucks is the Disneyland of coffeehouses - too smooth around the edges and I wish I lived closer to the Sentient Bean because I would hang out there on the funky purple sofas and watch people and write more.

After coffee, we scooted back up the street to the library. I found several books about kitchen gardens (always good to read up AFTER you've begun a project, yes?), a good bird-guide for Dave, Christopher Moore's Fool and a couple of Haven Kimmel novels. (I've never read any Kimmel but I am inclined toward liking her work). Mom found some books she liked too, and you cannot ask for much more out of a library trip than that.

I took mom home after the library but I didn't stop moving for long. Home to stash the vegetables and books and then back out to the salon where I got a new, much shorter do. I like pictures yet, though. Then an early supper with Dave, a short exploration of the fancy-pants nursery on the corner across from the restaurant, back to mom's to show off the hair and then home.

My sister, Stephi, came by - which is always nice - and then a little later Anna and Jack and the Parental Units brought their dog to visit Mojo. And on and on and on...until I finally sat down to write this. I'm finally tired enough to sleep, I think. I hope it will be quieter tomorrow.


Lisa said...

So sorry there's that noise that needs canceling, but what a good day, in the end. I love those patty-pan squash -- they always make me think of cooking with little kids' fake food.

Debi said...

Thanks, honey. It was a good day. Also, I just knew you would know about those squash! I want to eat them today so if you have any hints I'd be grateful.

Also...happy birthday. I hope it's wonderful in all the ways you most want.

cdcoleman95 said...

Debi, I don't know which Kimmel novels you picked up, but you might not want to start with Iodine. Save that one for later.
I'd recommend either The Solace of Leaving Early or The Used World as your first Kimmel.
Just my two cents.

Debi said...

Thanks, Cheryl. I have The Used World and Something Rising (Light & Sweet) . I always appreciate book-guidance!

Lauren said...

I'm so glad you like the Sentient Bean! Dave and I used to live just down the street from it - in fact, we bought our first house because of its proximity to the Bean :-) We had to put ourselves on a panini budget, though, 'cause it was getting out of hand. Let me know if you ever want to go to the Bean! We can go talk and/or write. I've been checking out Cutters Point, as well, since it's just up the street (I love coffeeshops in general) but their hours are not all that accessible :-)

Debi said...

Oh, we've loved the SB for years! Britt and I used to go there and then, later, it became one of the places she took her friends whenever they wanted to escape the Boro and head to the Big City. :) It's a very cool place with lots of nice memories. I'd love to go with you....because I agree: Cutter's Point is nice (though it, too, has that too-polished thing going on) but the hours need a serious overhaul.